Nine Reasons Why
by IzzyThatGleekPotterHead2019
Summary: Following the tragic death of his boyfriend Kurt, Blaine receives five mysterious tapes, recorded by Kurt Hummel himself. Rated T, trigger warning for mentions of past self harm and major character death via suicide. Based off the book Thirteen Reasons Why.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hey everyone! So this is new. I got the idea to do a Thirteen Reasons Why Klaine style fanfic, only, this is only going to be Nine Reasons Why. Trigger warning for mentions of past self harm and major character death via suicide. Also, this is my first time ever killing off Kurt..it's sad. Without further adieu, I give you, Nine Reasons Why.**

**Nine Reasons Why**

**Prologue**

Blaine sighed, glancing over at his phone. Who on _earth_ would be bothering to try making contact with him? Hadn't he made it clear that he needed to be alone for a while so that he could mourn his late boyfriend's death in peace? It had been almost a month since anyone had bothered trying to contact him, but clearly, one person hadn't gotten the message.

"Sebastian, what is it?" He sighed, answering the phone.

"Blaine, look, I know this is sudden, and you're probably not in the mood, but hear me out when I say this is really important. Could you meet me at the food court at the mall in thirty minutes?" Sebastian asked, sounding shaky and upset.

"If this is an attempt at getting me out of the house-" Blaine warned.

"No no, I-there's just something I need to give you, and then you can go right back home if you want. I'd mail it or something but...I think we'd both feel better if I gave it to you in person. It's-well, you'll understand what I mean when you listen to it."

"When...Sebastian what are you talking about?" Blaine asked, already getting up and looking in his closet to try finding a decent outfit.

"It's...Kurt's last wish to you," Sebastian replied.

Blaine froze, nearly dropping the phone in his shock. Kurt's last wish...to _him_? But then why did Sebastian have it?

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes," he replied, terribly confused. What would Sebastian be doing with something that Kurt had meant for _Blaine_ to have?

"Good. Oh, and Blaine? Bring a cassette player and a pair of headphones," was the last thing Sebastian said before he hung up.

When Blaine saw him, he was surprised at how nervous and antsy Sebastian looked.

"Tell me what this is all about?" He asked, stepping up to Sebastian.

"I can't. Only the tapes can tell you everything. Here," Sebastian thrust a small box into Blaine's arms.

"What's in here? Sebastian?" Blaine called, watching as the other boy turned and started walking away.

"Listen to the tapes Blaine. They'll explain everything," Sebastian replied, before vanishing into the crowd.

"The tapes?" Blaine wondered aloud, and then sighed, finding a small table off to the side, away from the crowd of the food court, and sat down, gently opening the box up. Inside were five plastic cassette tapes.

"What the hell is going on?" He muttered, now realizing why Sebastian had asked him to bring his cassette player.

He now pulled the device, along with his earbuds, out of his bag, and pulled out the first tape in the plastic box marked with one large, black number one.

He opened the plastic box, pulled the tape out, and put it inside the cassette player on the side marked with an A.

_Well, here goes nothing_, he thought, plugging in his headphones and pressing the play button.

"_Guess who?_" Came a familiar voice from the tape.

Blaine let out a startled gasp, having to press the pause button as he caught his breath. Because that wasn't just _any_ old voice. That...that was _Kurt's_ voice.

"Kurt?" He croaked out, remembering what Sebastian had told him over the phone: Kurt's last wish.

He pressed the play button, listening intently to the sound of his boyfriend's voice.

_"That was a stupid question. It's me of course, Kurt Hummel. I mean, who else would it be_?" There was a small silence, and then, "If_ you're listening to these tapes right now then it means I'm already gone. It also means you're on the list."_

The list? Blaine frowned in confusion as Kurt continued.

"_Confused? Don't worry. I'll clear it up for you right now. If you're listening to this, then it means you're one of the reasons I ended up killing myself."_

Blaine slammed his finger down on the pause button, tears welling in his eyes. Had...had he _really_ been one cause that led to Kurt's suicide? Had-had he-? He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and trying to calm himself down. When he felt like he wasn't going to pass out anymore from the shock of everything, he pressed play again, wondering if Sebastian had been on the list as well.

_"Here's how this is going to work,"_ Kurt's voice started up again._ "The nine of you will each have your own tape. I only ask two things out of all of you. One, pass the tape on to the person on the list after you. If you're the last one on the list, then you can do what you want to the tapes, but otherwise you MUST pass them on. If you think you can get away with not doing that, then I've got news for you. Someone I know has a second set of tapes. If you don't pass the tapes on, then this person will know and will personally play the tapes on the announcements at school so you will all be publicly shamed for contributing to my death. I don't think you'd want that. So do yourself a favor, and just pass the tape on. I'm not asking that much after all. Second, you can't tell anybody about the tapes outside of the people who are listed on them. Anyone outside of these people isn't supposed to know about any of these. Now, with that out of the way, go ahead and flip over, and listen._"

The tape came to a stop, and Blaine was simply left sitting there, still shaking. How? How had _he_ contributed to Kurt's death? He'd only ever been kind and loving to him..hadn't he? He shook his head, opening the cassette player and turning the tape over. He needed to know everything about why Kurt had done this. He _needed_ to.

And so, with that thought in mind, Blaine pressed play.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews guys! I'm really loving the direction that I'm planning on taking the story and I hope you all enjoy it too. Now, on with the next chapter!**

**Chapter 1: Rachel**

"_Thanks for deciding to stick with me. I mean..I guess you didn't really have much choice in the matter, but still,"_ Kurt chuckled softly.

_"The first person on the list is someone most of you will know pretty well. She's annoying, self-centered, and gets all the solos in Glee Club. Sound familiar_?" Kurt asked, beginning to sound angry for the first time since the tapes had started.

Blaine, of course, knew _exactly_ who Kurt was talking about, and whispered the name at the exact same time that Kurt said, _"Rachel Berry, this one's for you! Now, you may be wondering why you, the ever so perfect Rachel Berry who could never hurt anyone, would be on this list. Well, let me give you a reality check: you're not perfect, hell, you're not even nice to anyone unless it benefits you! You are selfish, self-centered, and all you have ever done is make me hate myself!"_ Kurt broke off with a choked sob, and Blaine paused the tape as tears filled his own eyes.

How _could_ she? How could Rachel have been so _cruel_? Yes, Blaine knew that she and Kurt didn't have the greatest relationship, but he could _never_ have expected that she would do this much damage. He let out a shaky breath, and, tears still dripping down his cheeks, pressed play.

_"Sorry. I got a little caught up in my emotions there_," Kurt sighed. "_Let's start with the day we both first joined Glee in Sophomore year, shall we? From day one, you were horrible to me. It was bad enough that you got all the solos, but then you had to gloat about it to everyone, including me. God, especially me. It was almost like you had something against me or something!_" Kurt's voice was becoming angry again, and he stopped. There was the sound of him taking a deep breath, and then, "_And then there was the Defying Gravity diva off. I purposely choked on that note because my dad got a call from someone at school calling me a fag, and I couldn't take the thought of him getting anymore of those calls. I hoped you would leave me alone if you won, but it wasn't enough for you to win, was it Rachel? No. You had to rub your damn victory all over my face. Remember what you said to me Rachel? You said, and I quote: 'I knew I'd be better at this song than you would! I knew it!'"_

Blaine growled as he pressed the pause button. He was going to KILL Rachel if he ever saw her again. How could she even think of _saying_ something like that to Kurt? Nails digging into the table he was sitting at, Blaine angrily pressed play again.

_"Do you even realize how much that hurt, Rachel? For me to do something that selfless and actually let you win, and then have you throw it back in my face instead of just accepting it like a normal person would? I don't think you even have a proper concept of human emotion Rachel, I really don't. And you know, that was when I first started to hate myself. I couldn't compete with you no matter how hard I tried. You stole my solo, you stole the guy I had a crush on that year, you tried to do that a second time, which luckily backfired on you."_

Blaine's breath hitched, because that was _Blaine_ Kurt was talking about.

"_All you ever did was try to take what I wanted, Rachel! How is that fair when I haven't done a damn thing to you_?" There was another long pause, and then. "_Sorry. My emotions took off without me again. That'll probably happen a lot as the tapes go on. Anyway, I'll say one more thing and then this tape is over. Rachel, you're one of the reasons I first started cutting."_

Blaine slammed his hand on the stop button, taking a deep shaky breath as more tears fell from his eyes. Cutting? No...no, not _his_ angel. Not his beautiful, perfect, amazing angel who only _ever_ needed to come to Blaine if he was ever upset about _anything_. He let out a choked sob_. Why Kurt? Why would you ever do that and not tell me? I could've helped_! He slammed his hand down on the table, letting out long, harsh sobs as he wondered why he hadn't noticed anything prior to Kurt's suicide. How could he have been so _stupid_?

"Blaine? Are you okay?" A quiet voice asked, and Blaine looked up, seeing Quinn Fabray standing in front of him.

"Quinn?" He asked.

"Hi. Listening to the tapes?" Quinn gave him a small, sad smile.

"You're on the list too?" Blaine asked, eyes widening in shock.

Quinn shook her head. "No I'm not. I have the second set of tapes," She replied.

"Oh," Blaine nodded. "Quinn...can you tell me which tape I'm on?"

"I can't Blaine. I'm sorry. I also can't say why you're on there. It was what Kurt wrote in the note he sent to me with the second set of tapes," Quinn replied. "I can sit and listen with you though. Believe me, it only gets harder and harder to listen to on your own as they go on."

Blaine looked up at her, and nodded. "Yeah..that'd be great. Thank you."

"No problem," Quinn smiled, sitting next to him and putting one of the earbuds in her ears.

"Alright," she said, switching the tapes out. "You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Blaine sighed.

Quinn nodded and gently pushed the play button.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: This may be my last time writing for a few weeks. I'll be vacationing for the next two weeks so I probably won't have anytime to write until I get back when school starts up again. We leave Monday, so I'll try getting something to you tomorrow, but I'll be way busy packing so I probably won't be able to update. Long story short, this'll be my last update for a little while. :P Alright, Chapter 2!**

**Chapter 2: Finn**

_"I probably shouldn't put all the blame on Rachel. I mean, there were plenty other reasons why I cut. My stepbrother was another one of those reasons. Yeah Finn, you're on the list too, don't look so shocked. Now you weren't quite as horrible as Rachel, but you didn't help matters either. In fact, you only seemed to make it worse. Especially when you found out about my cutting."_

Blaine pressed the pause button, taking a shaky breath. "He-he told _Finn_, but not _me_?" He stared up at Quinn.

"He said that Finn found out, Blaine, not that he told him. Just listen," and with that, Quinn pressed play.

_"Whenever Karofsky and the other jocks did anything horrible to me, you always just stood there watching me. Even when you joined Glee you never actually did anything to help me. I was too head over heels in love with you at the time to see you for what you really were though. A coward. That's right, I called you out on it. Because what did you ever do to help me out, Finn? Name one time_!" Kurt stopped for a few seconds, and then, more calmly, continued._ "I thought it would just stay like that, that you couldn't possibly do anything else to me, but then you said that word. That..that damn word that you KNOW I hate Finn! You KNEW it would piss me off but you said it anyway! Faggy! That's what you called me_!" Kurt broke off into sobs, and Blaine gently pulled the cassette player into his arms, holding it tightly and pretending it was Kurt he was giving comfort to.

God, his poor, beautiful angel. He'd been hurting so much, and Blaine hadn't seen. How could he not have _seen_?

When Blaine heard the tears subside a little, he placed the cassette player back down on the table. "Sorry," he muttered.

"It's okay. I think Kurt would find that adorable," Quinn smiled as Kurt continued.

_"Things seemed okay once I transferred to Dalton. You seemed...happy that I was gone_," Kurt scoffed, still sounding upset. "_And then Blaine transferred to McKinley to be with me after I came back_."

Blaine's breath hitched again. Kurt was talking about him.

"_That was when you decided to make both our lives a living hell," _Kurt growled. _"You got all jealous of your place as 'top dog' in Glee, and took it all out on Blaine. You know how much that hurt? Do you know how many time I cut because you hurt Blaine? I couldn't stand seeing him so upset. It was like you were TRYING to get me to choose between you and Blaine! And it hurt. Blaine, honey, if you're listening to this right now, then don't beat yourself up over it. This is all Finn's doing, not yours."_

Blaine let out a little sob as Kurt spoke directly to him. "But then what did I do to get on these tapes then, huh?" He asked the cassette player, and, almost on cue, Kurt replied, "_Your tape will come soon. All of yours will. For now, this is just between me and Finn. Back to what I was saying before. It HURT Finn. Really, really badly. And then you found out about the cutting._" There was a long sigh before Kurt continued. "_You were fighting with Blaine...again. And I couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't take you trying to divide me and Blaine up, so I ran out, ran to the restroom. I needed that release. I needed to cut. But you had to fucking follow me, didn't you? Can't you ever NOT screw something up, Finn?"_ Kurt sounded agitated. _"You ran in just as I had made that first, wonderful cut. I remember feeling horrified and yet glad at the same time. Glad that it was only you and not...not_..." He broke off again, and Blaine's heart broke as Kurt let out a broken,_ "I think he probably would've hated me if he'd been the one to see them."_

Blaine sobbed, pressing the pause button. "I would never have hated him! How could he think that?"

"In his eyes you were perfection. He thought, if you saw how screwed up he really was, you'd despise him forever. Remember you're the only person besides his dad who was always there for him no matter what. He didn't want to let you down," Quinn shrugged.

"...How do you even know all that?" Blaine asked.

"Let's just say, a couple nights before he committed suicide, he called me up. I confided to him in Junior year that I was cutting because of all the shit that happened in Sophomore year, and I guess, when he called, he remembered that and trusted me enough to tell me," Quinn replied.

"Quinn...you're not still-" Blaine asked, but Quinn shook her head.

"I've been trying to stop," she replied. "I'm seeing a therapist now and so far I'm two weeks clean," she smiled at him, and Blaine couldn't help but smile back.

"Just know, if you ever need to talk, you have my number," he reminded her.

"I'll keep that in mind. Ready to finish this tape?" Quinn asked.

Blaine nodded. "Let's get it over with," he replied as she pressed play again.

_"Anyway, you found out my secret, and you know what you did Finn? Remember what you said? You said you'd tell Blaine unless I got him to stop, I quote, 'stealing all the solos in a Glee.' Really Finn? You find your stepbrother in the bathroom cutting himself and all you can think about is how you can use this to your advantage! You're lucky I somehow managed to convince Blaine to give up most of his solos, because if we had broken up, Finn I would've committed suicide in your bedroom and made sure you were scarred for life by that!" Kurt screamed. "Now you fucking listen to me Finn Hudson. When I die, you had BETTER apologize to Blaine for all the SHIT you've put him through! You had BETTER be nice to him and learn not to fuck around with people's love lives again!" There was a long silence, and Blaine thought the tape was over at first, but then. "I have nothing else to say to you Finn Hudson. Everyone else can go ahead and turn the tape over. See you in the next story_." There was a click, and the tape stopped.

Quinn wordlessly flipped the tape over, and then, with a glance towards Blaine, she pressed play.


	4. Quick Update (AN)

**Hey guys! Just a quick little author's note updating y'all on what's going on right now. So I literally just got home very early this morning and haven't really had time to relax til just now. But I wanted to let you know that, of course, I haven't forgotten this fic, vacation was fun, and you can expect the next update probably this Monday. See you in the next chapter guys! :D**


	5. Chapter 3

**A/N: So this chapter was due yesterday, but I was doing so many other things that I completely forgot about it. So without further adieu, here is the next chapter.**

**Chapter 3: Puck**

_"You all will know this next person very well. I never particularly liked him. He got Quinn pregnant in our Sophomore year, has a really awful looking Mohawk and tries to act cool all the time. But we all know he's not. That's right Noah Puckerman, I'm talking about you!"_

Blaine couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief that it wasn't him. At least..not yet.

_"This one's gonna be short and simple. Puckerman, you were one of the reasons why my high school life was a living hell. You slushied me, tossed me in dumpsters, and constantly made homophobic comments against me. Constantly! And then, all of the sudden you join Glee club, acting like that somehow was supposed to change all the SHIT you put me through! Yeah, that's right. I swore. And don't sit there acting like you didn't deserve this, like you were just this amazing perfect person. You weren't, Noah! You weren't! But you never thought you might actually be hurting my feelings, did you? I bet you didn't think of all the hours I spent in my room, just cutting myself and feeling like crap because of what you'd said to me, huh Noah? Well, now look what you've done."_

Blaine let out a sob as the tape came to a stop. "God, what did I do to hurt him Quinn? You have to tell me, please! I can't take this anymore!"

"Blaine, I can't-"

"YOU HAVE TO TELL ME!" Blaine let out a choked sob. "I didn't m-mean to-oh god Kurt I never meant to hurt you-" he trailed off in long, heart-wrenching sobs as Quinn gently wrapped her arms around him. "Why didn't he tell me? I could've helped, god I could've _helped_!"

"Blaine, listen to me. Kurt's death was NOT your fault, okay? I promise and he explains it in the tape-"

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE GODDAMN TAPES! I JUST WANT MY BOYFRIEND BACK QUINN! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR? SCREW THE FUCKING TAPES!" Blaine yanked the earbuds out of their ears, and grabbed the tape recorder, along with the box, flinging both to the ground in fury.

Quinn, well aware that they were attracting a lot of attention from the other mall goers, grabbed the still intact tape recorder and the box with the tapes. "Come on," she said sternly. "Let's get out of here."

"Where are we going?" Blaine whispered, looking up brokenly at her.

"Somewhere that Kurt thought you might like; the park," Quinn replied, grabbing his wrist and gently pulling him up.

"But..that's where we used to go on dates all the time. He...he _told_ you that?" Blaine asked, confused.

"He didn't exactly _tell_ me...just come on. I'll explain once we're there," Quinn promised, and led him out of the mall.


End file.
